Last Updated on May 2, 2024 by Daniele Lima
Learn how to act by recovering your self-esteem after a betrayal
Only those who have experienced betrayal know the pain they feel, it is a very difficult moment in a relationship. She can awaken various types of emotions and reactions in those who are experiencing this drama.
It’s an act of breaking trust, one that leaves you feeling like the ground is opening up under your feet and you’re falling into a deep abyss. It can deeply shake the soul and leave lasting emotional scars.
However, despite all the intensity of the trauma, there are ways to overcome this pain and regain self-confidence, dignity, self-love, and everything else that was lost with betrayal. In this article, you will learn about five ways to gradually rebuild yourself step by step, learning that there is life after betrayal:
Table of Contents
1 – Process the emotions
After a betrayal, it is very natural to have a whirlwind of emotions such as anger, sadness, insecurity, despair, and others, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for feeling all of this. Respect each feeling, each one will have its moment to be expressed, but that doesn’t mean they should make an address in you.
Everything has its time, allow yourself to experience the period of pain, cry, vent, rage, take a deep breath, and understand that this phase is just the first, the most painful, but it will pass. This is the first step in the healing process.
In this first period, it is very good to have someone you can trust, to be able to vent without embarrassment, it could be someone from the family, a close friend, or maybe even a professional in the field, such as a behavioral therapist for example. If you choose to spend this time alone, without opening up to anyone, a good option is to write (it can be in a diary) putting everything that hurts you the most until you feel ready to share it with someone.
2 – Practice self-care
After processing emotions, when tempers are more controlled, then it’s time to start with self-care.
Taking care of self-esteem is fundamental for you to feel better, more confident, and prepared to move forward, whatever your decision may be. Take care of your spiritual, mental, and physical health. This is a gradual process, but one that must be constant for good results.
Know that there are actions that if you don’t do it for yourself, no one will. You know where it hurts, where you need adjustments and repairs, so you’re the one who needs to take the first step in favor of yourself, but that doesn’t mean you’ll do it alone. Each area of your life may have different people helping you, this includes family, friends, or specific professionals.
3 – Time to forgive…
To start this part, we will make it clear that “forgiving is not forgetting”. Forgiveness is an unnecessary weight, which you will no longer carry so that you can move on with your life much more lightly and without hindrance.
You are not obliged to accept the person back, much less have to live with them, but dwelling on that feeling of bitterness, along with a desire for revenge, will only delay your progress as a person.
It doesn’t happen overnight, and you don’t have to verbalize that forgiveness to someone else either. But break that chain from your foot and move on with your life without prisons and trying to do everything wonderful for you. Remember that the biggest lesson for those who betrayed you is to see you very well, better than ever in every way.
4 – Rebuild your identity
We often give up doing certain things we like, in favor of the other person we relate to. This is very common among couples, so if you’re on your own, recovering from a difficult moment like betrayal, it’s a good time to resume your individual plans.
We can cite several examples in this regard, such as going back to school, taking a new course, learning new languages, ending a sedentary lifestyle, practicing a new sport, taking that long-awaited trip, changing jobs, opening a business and many other options that fit with your new identity.
This will do you a huge amount of good, you will realize that investing in you is the best choice. Seeing a new person blossom, much more confident, self-assured, and happy, not because he is alone, but because he is taking better care of himself.
5 – Learn from experience
Once you’ve recovered, once you’ve become a much stronger person, then you’ll be ready to decide if it’s worth getting back together with the other person or if you move on as you are.
Regardless of your decision, the most important thing about everything you’ve been through is that you’re not the same anymore. Anyone who goes through a process as painful as this one has to know how to value each lesson learned, which we will call experience.
The fruits that experience brings, no one takes away from you. It’s the opportunity for you not to make the same mistakes with yourself, either because of wrong choices, thoughtless attitudes, immaturity and so many other mistakes made in the past that only harmed you. But with the experience gained through pain, you have the opportunity to rewrite your story alone or with whomever you choose, but now with another look at life.
Conclusion:
Anyway, getting over a betrayal is not a simple process, but it is totally possible. We already know that there are cases where forgiveness takes place followed by the couple’s return and there are cases where each one really follows their destiny.
Remember that in both cases, forgiveness is necessary so that life can walk more successfully, without any stumbling blocks. Don’t wear yourself out with revenge, because naturally, everyone reaps what they sow. Therefore, always plant the best in yourself and in the lives of others, the harvest is certain!
The most important thing is that you feel good and try to evolve as a person in every way. Love own it is no longer advice, but an order for those who want to be happy.
Betrayal – FAQ:
Can betrayal cause depression
Infidelity can indeed lead to depression in individuals who experience it. The feelings of betrayal, loss of trust, and shattered expectations can trigger a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, insecurity, and despair.
These emotional responses can significantly impact one’s mental health and well-being, potentially leading to symptoms of depression such as persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, and feelings of worthlessness or guilt.
How betrayal affects the brain
Infidelity can have profound effects on the brain, particularly in regions associated with emotional regulation and social cognition. The trauma of betrayal can trigger the brain’s stress response, leading to heightened levels of cortisol and adrenaline.
This can result in increased anxiety, hypervigilance, and intrusive thoughts about the betrayal. Over time, chronic stress related to infidelity can contribute to changes in brain structure and function, potentially affecting memory, decision-making, and overall mental health.
Why is betrayal so painful?
Infidelity is profoundly painful because it represents a betrayal of trust and intimacy, which are fundamental aspects of any relationship. The discovery of infidelity can shatter the foundation of trust that individuals have built with their partners, leaving them feeling vulnerable, rejected, and emotionally wounded.
The sense of infidelity can evoke intense feelings of grief, anger, shame, and humiliation, amplifying the pain of the experience. Additionally, the loss of the relationship’s perceived stability and future can further exacerbate the emotional distress caused by infidelity.
When does betrayal stop hurting
The pain of infidelity can diminish over time with healing, self-reflection, and personal growth. However, the timeline for recovery varies greatly from person to person and depends on various factors such as the nature of the infidelity, the strength of the relationship, and individual coping mechanisms.
While some individuals may begin to experience relief from the pain relatively quickly, for others, the healing process may take much longer. Ultimately, healing from infidelity involves processing emotions, rebuilding trust (either within the relationship or with oneself), and finding closure to move forward with a renewed sense of self-worth and resilience.
