Last Updated on May 2, 2024 by Daniele Lima
Learn more about the advantages and disadvantages of reliving a recycled love
You may have heard someone say in relation to relationships that “a repeated picture doesn’t complete the album”, or you know some cases of people who break up and return to the same person several times. Opinions differ on this issue, due to the experiences that each person lives in the sentimental area.
Many troubled relationships, where arguments are constant, end in a breakup, and sometime later the couple gets together again, which can happen for several reasons. Sometimes it’s really out of love, but it could just be because you’ve gotten used to the other person. There are also more serious cases such as emotional dependence, thus generating symptoms of an abusive relationship.
On the other hand, we have that group that gives just one chance to the person in their life. They don’t allow them to return, for fear of experiencing the same situations that weren’t good, even though they remember the pleasant moments they had.
Finally, how can we weigh all these experiences on a scale to make such an important decision? Renew a relationship or turn the page to start something new? In this article, we will present you with the pros and cons of going back to your ex, because after all, each case is different…
Table of Contents
Starting with the advantages, the first is:
1- Prior knowledge
The well-known “comfort zone” is extremely engaging and cozy when it comes to relationships. Knowing deeply the qualities and even the defects of the other person gives a feeling of security.
At this time, it is very difficult to remember the ups and downs that you have experienced together. Analyze whether there was support, understanding, empathy, and support.
There is also the fact that you already know the smell, the touch, the quirks, the chemistry, what you like and what you don’t like about that person, it is no longer new to you, making it a very familiar “terrain”.
2- Personal growth
During the period in which they were separated, it was very common for the former couple to experience individual growth in several areas. This evolution happens, most of the time, due to the greater time that each person has to dedicate to themselves.
The result is to have greater, more mature self-knowledge, which allows you to reflect on past mistakes and thus bring more clarity to resolve outstanding issues between you.
With this growth in both of your personal lives, there is a great possibility of resuming the relationship with a completely different mindset, to give yourself a new chance with someone you already know so well.
3 – Shared history
The uniqueness of the moments lived between you is very strong, places you visited and had incredible experiences, objects you bought, photos and videos of more than special situations, mutual friends and so many other factors that wrote the couple’s story.
Not to mention the inside jokes, gestures that only you understand, and conversations about different subjects for hours, all of this generates a deep emotional connection, which takes time and skills to build throughout the relationship.
Exactly for this reason, the desire to return to everything that is already known can be quite comfortable and welcoming, a feeling that you are returning home after a long journey.
4 – Rediscovering feelings
There is a well-known phrase that says “When you lose it, it gives you value”, and in many cases it is true. There’s nothing like a nice separation, for ideas to improve, for spirits to lower, and then, sensibility comes bringing with it several reflections on everything that was experienced between you, and that the breakup really shouldn’t remain.
At this time, feelings begin to pass through the sieve, and in many cases, it is discovered, upon separation, that that person really is your true love. Sometimes the reason for the breakup was because of something trivial, like a good, frank, and straightforward conversation. Exaltations would solve the problem.
If the feelings are greater than pride, the relationship has everything to come back even stronger and consequently more mature as well. True love is built day by day, through experiences acquired, whether good or bad.
Now let’s talk about the:
Risks Of Giving Your Ex Another Chance:
1 – Emotional baggage
One of the harmful aspects of returning to a relationship is the emotional baggage brought about by what was previously experienced. If there are trauma sequelae, deep and open wounds, they can negatively interfere with the success of the relationship.
This baggage can bring with it resentment, distrust, repetition of behavior patterns, and heartache, among other aggravating factors.
Exactly for this reason, it is important and fundamental that both of you talk about these points, before considering a possible return.
2 – Past expectations
If the relationship didn’t work out, it’s because there were problems, and this cannot be ignored if the intention is to resume it, because it is very likely that they will appear again and in a more relevant way.
If there are expectations based on the past, this can certainly harm the future of the relationship. There may be waiting for an improvement in something or a situation, which is still unresolved, thus generating a lot of frustration.
3 – External pressure
Dealing with other people’s opinions from relatives and friends about the return of your relationship is something that deeply affects the psychological and in the vast majority of cases, causes conflicts in the relationship.
It is very natural that there are people who are in favor and those who are against this resumption, and many will probably want to intervene, even if indirectly, by giving their opinion. Therefore, it is important that the couple shield themselves from these comments and remain firm in their purpose, if this is to remain together.
4 – Behavioral relapses
Without a doubt, this is the biggest fear when it comes to getting back with your ex. Especially if the reason for the breakup was due to betrayal.
Open, frank dialogue must be part of the relationship if they want to return. Knowing how to discuss the reasons that led to the breakup without fighting is already a big step and demonstrates a greater degree of maturity between you.
Establishing behavioral goals and limits will help a lot to maintain a balanced pattern and considerably reduce the chances of recurring undesirable behaviors. It is not an easy task, but if the desire and feeling for the return speak louder, these aforementioned attitudes will make all the difference.
Conclusion:
Finally, the decision to resume a relationship must be carefully analyzed, especially by the party that was most harmed. Measure the pros and cons very carefully, and see who wins more in percentage in your case.
If you decide to return, be careful to maintain open communication, learn from past mistakes without “digging up the dead”, commit to individual personal growth and, if necessary, professional help is always welcome, such as therapy together or even separately.
The decision is up to the couple, whatever it may be, the most important thing is that you feel good and at peace whether alone or with others.
Getting Back With Your Ex – FAQ:
How to take it slow when getting back with an ex
Take time to rebuild trust and establish new boundaries. Avoid rushing into intimacy or making impulsive decisions. Focus on communication and addressing unresolved issues gradually.
What to say to get back with your ex
Express genuine remorse for past mistakes and a sincere desire to work on the relationship. Communicate openly about intentions, expectations, and hopes for the future. Listen actively to your ex’s perspective and be prepared for honest dialogue.
Is it worth getting back with an ex
Consider the pros and cons carefully, weighing factors like personal growth, shared history, and emotional readiness. Evaluate whether past issues can be effectively addressed and if both parties are committed to positive change.
What does it mean when you dream about your ex
Dreams about exes can symbolize unresolved feelings, longing for closure, or a need for emotional healing. They may also reflect subconscious processing of past experiences and relationships, prompting introspection and self-reflection.
